On Strike

Julianne was on a milk, nursing and bottle strike the past week - it has been most distressing.    I've nursed in every imaginable position including walking while nursing carrying her in mid-air.  We have been to Dr Hiew 3 times in the past week.  What started as a cold turned into wind in her tummy then turned into not drinking all afternoon yesterday which made me panic hence the night visit to Dr Hiew.  She was pooping way less than her usual poopy princess title calls for and was barely having a full diaper.  I was so worried she was dehydrating.  She also had blood in her poop the day before so I was feeling very unsettled with all that was happening to my poor baby, we were contemplating sending her to the hospital last evening. 

Thankfully all seems better now.  She nursed well last night and this morning.  Her poop has returned to normal but requires monitoring.  Dr Hiew said the blood was possibly from a small tear in her anus which he discovered.  If it doesn't reoccur, we shouldn't be too concern.  Her wheezing seems to have gone away which means she ain't as stuffed up anymore and should be more comfortable nursing.  

We're truly praying it'll be uphill from here.  I've had a mentally, emotionally and physically draining week.  Yesterday was most distressing for the both of us ever since she was born.  She went on crying for almost an hour the longest ever to date.  She has honestly not cried for  more than 5-10 minutes continuously.  And me the Mama, pretty much spent my afternoon in tears trying to make her drink. 

I truly hope the worst is over.  Motherhood can be tough at times but last night, after  starving herself silly all day, she nursed beautifully and even gave me a contented smile after she was done.  That made the pain of the day all go away. 

A spoon full of sugar ...

makes the medicine go down (not)! Today was the first time Julianne had a taste of something other than breastmilk and sadly it had to be medication for a nasal congestion that she has caught.  

My heart broke a little when we had to feed her the medicine only to see her spit it out even though we were told it was sweet.  Looks like its Mama's milk or nothing.  

She must have caught the bug from either me or Sam (who caught it from me) when I came down with a bad cough about 2 weeks ago.  Mama's bad.  I'm sorry Julianne to put you through this.  The hubs and I had a rough night yesterday but I can only imagine it must have been worst for her.  

We brought her to the pediatrician who saw Sam some 18 years ago.  Good old Dr Junior Hiew, always as patient in explaining to us what was happening to our daughter, why she was restless last night and what we could do to make it better like - no aircon for the next few days.  

Still despite the discomfort, our sweet child still managed a big grin for the camera after her feed.  And she still maintains her quiet disposition giving us her usual smiley face when we talk to her.  

You'll get well soon Julianne I promise.  We've been praying and I'm sure God will hear our prayers. 

Big smile after my feed, a photo by pz.sher on Flickr.

Letters to Julianne #3

Dearest Julianne, 

What a December you have had!!! You went places, met new faces and did heaps of growing!! 

The highlight this month has got to be meeting Yiyi Rene, Uncle Jude and your sweet cousin Sophie for the first time!! Don't you just love all the wet smoochy kisses that Sophie has been giving you?  You ain't gonna get them anymore for a while.  Hopefully we can all make a trip to California later this year to meet them again! By that time, you may even be able to play with your cousin. 

You celebrated your very first Christmas this month and met many of your grandaunts and uncles and Mama's many cousins whom you greeted with your sweetest smiles.  They think you are such a cute little pumpkin!   Remember Uncle Daryl and Russell whom you charmed  the socks off over Christmas?  You also gave your great grandma (Tai-tai) such a big smile, she went on and on telling everyone about it over Christmas lunch.  Let's not forget the many presents your received over Christmas - there were pretty clothes from Gong Gong and Por Por, books that Mama and Papa bought you, a lovely Tiff & Co pendant and owl poster from Yiyi Rene & Uncle Jude and that cute little Tiff & Co bunny savings bank from grandaunt Sway Kor.  That's plenty for a 2 month old young lady!! 

On the growth front, Mama has since retired your newborn clothes and promoted you to 3-6 months outfit.  Just this morning, we had to get you new swaddles cos Gong Gong has been making so much noise about how your old ones are so tight you look like a nonya dumpling. I'm not sure how you weigh in, I'm guessing maybe 5ish kg?  Papa also just measured you today and it appears you've grown another good 3cm making you abt 56cm now. 

You've been giving us alot of your mega watt smile especially in the morning when everyone gathers around you giving you all the attention by talking to you.  I think thus far, you give Por Por the biggest smile - you sure know who to charm huh? ("better smile at Por Por and make her happy so that she can let me have a fill of a time when she takes care of me after Mama goes back to work!").  You are definitely more alert than you were last month.  This month, you discovered the mirror on your gym mat and love smiling to the person in it - that's yourself silly girl!  You like how you look don't you? You're also cooing alot more, often responding with your 'ohs' and 'ahs' when we talk to you.  Leg-raise has also become your favourite exercise.  You have somehow learnt to turn a good 180 degrees from the position we put you down to sleep by doing leg-raisers.  Where did you learn that from? 

After 2 months, Mama has finally gotten the hang of this breastfeeding business and I must say that I'm enjoying it alot more than those early weeks of your life.  I especially enjoy our feeds in the wee hours of the morning, when its just you and me awake in the stillness of our room and you lay close to Mama with that angelic face as you suckle.  Its our special time together and I'm going to miss it when we eventually wean you off.  

We are unfortunately not doing as well on the sleeping front.  You have not taken to sleeping on the bed during the day this entire month choosing instead to sleep in your new found favourite - the rocker.  Its an improvement from sleeping in my arms for hours - something you did alot of last month.  Although Mama really doesn't want you to get too use to the vibrating effect of the rocker, I have no choice but to cave in since its the only way to get you to sleep for sometimes as long as 2-3 hours.  We do well at night in your own crib though as you've started to sleep for longer stretches this month going as long as 5 hours on a few nights.  Papa is reading up on establishing good sleep routines and we hope that by your 3rd or 4th month, you will be able to soothe yourself to sleep and we should really start learning to sleep in the crib for your day naps as well.  Deal? 

On going places, it has been a hit and miss.  More misses I suppose.  You were good at yesterday's New Year's lunch at Uncle's Han's restaurant.  You also did pretty well on your first excursion to the Underwater World where we brought cousin Sophie to see the fishes.   But our Christmas Eve dinner at Akashi turned out to me an absolute nightmare when you simply refuse to hear of that Japanese music playing inside the restaurant.  In the end, you spent pretty much the entire dinner outside with Mama and Por Por taking turns to carry you.  Take goodness Papa saved that fatty chu-toro for Mama! :p  I look forward to the day I can successfully bring you out without you wailing in the stroller wanting to be carried in the arms.  Can we try that this month?  Mama has got to go shopping for my Chinese New Year clothes.      

Something else we did this month - moving into our new room and giving you your new crib finally.  After sleeping in the pack and play for the first month of your life, your crib finally arrived as we settled into our new room.  We created a cosy little corner for you, with your own night lamp, clothes hanger and your favourite toy mobile.  You've grown to like your mobile alot and we can actually leave you in your cot for some time (considering you hate being put down) as you stare at your mobile.  

You're growing so fast Julianne and Mama is a little sad that I have all but two more months before I go back to work.  Already I'm starting to feel separation anxiety on the few occasions I left you for a few hours to run errands, I can't imagine being away from you for 10-12 hours each day.  I hate it that going back to work means that I may be missing out on your few 'firsts' so I hope you'll save them for when Mama is around. 

It another exciting month ahead with the Lunar New Year round the corner.  You're going to meet even more people, receive more Ang Pows (you already got your first from Yiyi Rene) and do more growing.  Let's see what new tricks you come up with this month! 

Till then, here's your December in photos.  Grow well my sweet child and feel all the love you've been showered with every moment of the day!! 

Happy 2nd month dear Julianne. 

Love much, 

Mama 

Julianne's December 2011, a photo by pz.sher on Flickr.

Reflections

After what was a somewhat dismal 2010, my 2011 turned out to be an extraordinarily eventful year with the birth of our very first child - Julianne.  I couldn't ask for more. 

By God's grace, we were able to conceive soon after a previous lost.  The months leading up to finding out we were pregnant were both emotionally and spiritually trying as I struggled with coming to terms with our lost.  But with much prayer, we kept the faith and believed that God will make all things beautiful in His time.  And beautiful it was as He blessed us with Julianne in February of 2011 before adding the icing on the cake in November with her birth. My pregnancy brought me closer to God and brought the husband and I as a couple closer to God as we prayed daily for our child.  For nine months, I was thankful for every kick I felt and for every heartbeat I heard at our gynae visits.  And finally, on 1st November, I was thankful for her little life that had just began in our big big world.

By God's grace, I was blessed with a promotion given just soon after I found out we were pregnant.  How timely.  It came with added responsibilities but it also came with supernatural strength from God to handle both my growing belly and heavier workload at the same time.  I was challenged with a couple of big projects over the 10 months before I went on maternity leave with the peak period at the 8th month of my pregnancy.  It had only got to be God's strength reigning over the final trimester's fatigue that saw me through the projects and for that I am thankful. 

And while I may have taken the year off leading the CG, I am proud of them as they continued to meet up regularly to grow in the Lord.  The leave also gave me time to fill my own spiritual cup as I found more time to feed on God's word so that I too could grow in Him. 

2011 was a year of God's grace and I am thankful for every moment of it. 

2012 brings with it brand new and exciting challenges, the biggest being the parenting role I have now embraced.  As Julianne grows up, I ask God for all the patience, all the strength, all the wisdom and all the love He can ever give me to rise up as a mother.  I pray that in the midst of the attention given to Julianne, I will remember that I am still wife to my husband, my best friend, my soul mate and that I need to make room in my life for Us. 

I will also be starting work in a new division when I return to work and that means change.  I'm not best friends with 'change' but by the grace of God, I'll adapt and embrace change. 

In 2012, Julianne will take her first solids, get on her knees to crawl and maybe take her first steps.  I'm excited.  In 2012, God will be walking ahead of me, surrounding me with His love and filling my life with blessings and His providence that I don't deserve.  I'm humbled.  

May your 2012 overflow with love, joy, peace and God's abundant blessings all round.