I thought I would be over it by now. But when I found myself still tearing every now and then, I realised that I will probably never get over it and that I don't have to. It will forever be a chapter in our lives and part of our story, nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to run away from. Yes we move on, yes we'll try again, but doesn't mean we have to forget ...
A POEM OF COMFORT
I thought of you and closed my eyes
and prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a mother
and I know I heard him say...
"A mother has a baby."
This we know is true.
But can you be a mother
when your baby's not with you?
"Yes, you can,"
He said with confidence in His voice.
"I give many women babies.
When they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime,
and others for a day.
Some I send to fill your womb
but there's no need to stay."
"I just don't understand this, God.
I want my baby here."
He took a breath and cleared His throat
and then I saw a tear.
"I wish that I could show you
what your child is doing today.
If you could see your child smile
with other children and say,
'We go to earth to learn our lessons
of love and life and fear.
My Mommy loved me oh, so much
I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a Mom
who had so much love for me.
I learned my lesson very quickly.
My Mommy set me free.
I miss my Mommy oh, so much
but I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep,
on her pillow is where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
and whisper in her ear,
"Mommy, don't be sad today.
I'm your baby and I'm here."
So, you see, my dear sweet one,
your child is okay.
Your baby is here in my home and
this is where she'll stay.
She'll wait for you with me
until your lesson is through.
And on the day that you come home,
She'll be at the gates for you.
So, now you see what makes a mother.
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of
right from the very start.
Though some on earth may not see
you're a mother with a child.
They'll be up here with me one day
and know you've always been one."
