Updates!

Honestly don't know where the past three months went to.  Our lives have been busy with a fair bit of activities and development, I couldn't find time to update this blog.

I miss writing my monthly letters to Jules but she's up to so much lately, I'm just savouring the moments as they are being presented to me rather than dismissing her aside and spending time penning them down.

So here's to sum up our past months . . .

• Jules has settled amazingly well into school.  She's spent an entire term plus 2 weeks and if what we saw at our recent parents-teachers meeting was anything to go by, I think our daughter truly loves school.  Work aside, it was seeing how she was so totally at ease in her classroom with her teachers and how she so spontaneously went up to hug her Chinese teacher even though she was in the midst of talking to other parents that gave me all the assurance that she was learning in a very positive environment.  Jules is quite selective with her hugs, so seeing how she related to her teachers that day meant a lot to me.  She also had a bunch of little kids literally running towards her shouting "Julianne" the moment they saw her.  It says a lot about her social skills and I'm glad she's not having any issues with that.  Seeing the other happy kids around school that day also reaffirmed our decision to sending Jules there and I'm sure it'll also help set the foundation to her faith especially since she's still too young for our church's sunday school programme. 

• We are expecting a new addition to the family come October!  We're of course very excited about it but I'll be honest and say that second time round, I've definitely taken a lot of things easier - especially on the food department.  A few sips of coffee here and there, bubble tea runs, sushi (aburi style to lessen the guilt) - I've done it all.  Also holding back on buying stuff since we'll just be using what we have - cot, stroller, play pen etc.  About the only thing we probably need to get is a rocker - which learning from our experience with Jules, we will try not to introduce unless desperate.  

• With the pregnancy, I'm officially off my breast pump.  Having been exclusively breastfeeding Jules for almost 27 months, my supply dipped drastically after our Hong Kong trip, around 8 weeks or so and I just felt it was pointless to continue pumping.  We slowly and with much struggle successfully transited Jules to soy formula - restorting to spoon feeding her even.  Thankfully she's good with it now although I still nurse her about twice a day with whatever milk I possibly have and I foresee for however long my growing belly can accommodate her nursing position.

• My aunt fell really ill but is thankfully by God's grace coping with her illness really well.  She's also responding well to the treatment and I know her faith is keeping her strong.  In the early days of the news, she started giving away her valuables to us - and that single act just made me very sad.  But I'm glad the family came together, rallied around her and gave her all the support she needed.  I'm sure that gave her a lot of hope and strength to fight the race and I know our God will never fail.  I remember it was Mothers' Day.  The hubs was transferring my late grandfather's collection of cassette recordings of holidays he took on his cam-corder to his laptop.  I stumbled upon a video of a Europe trip I took with my late grandfather, late uncle and my aunt some 15 years ago.  It brought back a lot of memories of my grandfather and uncle.  And with my aunt in her current condition, I couldn't help but started to cry.  Jules took a tissue, came up to me, dried my tears and said "Mama, don't cry.  It's OK.  I'm here OK?".  That probably made me cry even harder and it was without a doubt the best Mothers' Day present I could ask for.  Words from a 2.5 year old kid - it was just too much for me.  

• With the arrival of Baby #2 (we're still a little undecided on names but it's likely to be Baby O), we're also preparing for a big change come year end.  (more on that at a opportune time) but for now, let's just say we're all very excited about the change.  I'm hoping it happens before Baby arrives so that we can somewhat settle into a routine of sorts without having to cope with so many changes at one time - but we'll see how the timing all pans out.  

So the past few months have been pretty eventful, a bit of an emotional roller coaster for me but always so filled with God's unfailing love and grace.  I stand amaze. 

We're so glad to be in this journey together with Him who's always so Great.  

Have a wonderful weekend folks!

Year End Reflections

As the year draws to a close with the new year just hours away, no better time than to slow down, be still and give thanks for another year gone by.  I really don’t know where all that time has gone.  2013 went by too fast, I wished I had more time to savour more of those special moments.  We celebrated several milestones this year but could also have done better in other areas.  

As a mother, the highlight of my 2013 has to be seeing how Jules’ speech and cognitive abilities have developed.  I guess for the next 5 years, the highlight of my year will somehow be linked to her milestones.  From the tiny being that could only let out helpless cries to her jabbering at 8 months to her early mono words at one year, she just started stringing words together so naturally around 18 months.  The next thing we knew, she was speaking in complete sentences and using words that we never intentionally taught her like “again”, “also” etc appropriately.  She even knows how to begin her answer with “because” whenever we ask her “why?”.  I love it that I’m actually having conversations with my 2-year old today and how she adds so much joy and laughter to the family with the funniest things she says.  Like how when the little aunt took a spoon of her chicken porridge the other day and she loudly exclaimed “Eh no, cannot eat Juju’s porridge.  Spit it out!”.  I’m overwhelmed with a sense of mummy-pride every time Jules hits these developmental milestones or when she shows maturity beyond her age.  She knows it when we’re angry (with her usually), or when we’re in pain (like when I stub my toe against the door) or when we’re unwell and will that to say “sorry” followed by the stroking of our hands to show she’s sorry or she’ll come wipe our faces and say “Mama, no cry” (most of the time, I’m just pretending to cry).  It’s like all the early months of caring for her, she’s now doing the same to me.  I hope she’ll continue to wipe away my tears when she’s 21.   

As a couple we weathered through some rough days coping with a month of one sickness after another.  From cough to HFMD to stomach flu.  The month of April was such a nightmare.  I appreciated how the husband was able to find more balance with his work this year to shoulder some of those days with me by staying home with Jules while I had to attend to urgent matters at work.  He also had a few bonding days with his little girl when I had to attend work functions on weekends.  I thought that did both of them good.  There was a period last year when Jules refused her Dada (it still happens once and a while today, but at least the husband is next in line when Mama isn’t around).  It made our parenting journey stronger and it felt more like the way it should be – a partnership – unlike last year when I was shouldering most of the duty of caring for Jules while the husband adjusted to his new post at work. 

As a family, we went on our first family holiday with the kiddos all in toll and inhaled the yummy Penang food!  I cannot be more thankful for family, for their endless support, for home cook meals at the table every day, for taking such wonderful care of their grand-daughter and loving her as they love me, for occasional indulgence even when I'm 34 and for daily chit-chats that keeps as connected.  It is because of them I come back to a home and not house. 

As an individual, I found more time to myself, now that Jules is older.  I managed a few dinners with my girlfriends, had a little gathering for my cell group kids (our first since I had Jules) and went on the occasional pampering at the eye lash bar and mani pedi when the occasion called for it.  I continued to expand my capacity to love and would like to think that in my roles as mother, wife, daughter and sister, I've given of my very best.  I wish I could contribute more in the area of Ministry but haven't been able to, something I hope to do more of in the new year once we move to the new church and settle in.    

The new year brings new hope and wishes.  We of course have some of our own which we can only but commit to God, whose grace and providence brought us through yet another year.  I enter the new year with the confidence of knowing that God is in control and that it is from Him that all blessings flow.  

Wishing you and yours, a blessed New Year filled with God's grace and manifold blessings!

2013 in Review

Praise God from whom

All blessings flow

Praise Him all creatures

Here below

Praise Him above

Ye heavenly host

Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost

*****

Made in through another year by the grace of God, with daily prayers, with His word that gave hope in times of despair, that brought peace in times of anxiety, healing in times of pain and the constant assurance of His love and grace. I give thanks.

In January, we welcomed a new member into the family when my cousin got married.  It was the very first wedding Jules attending. 

This year's Lunar New Year was extra special - it was the first with my elder sis in 10 years! Jules was also more aware of all the bustling activities going around since she was all but 3 months old when she celebrated her first Lunar New Year last year.  She could even do the "Gong Xi Gong Xi" action. 

March was a big milestone for Jules.  She started playschool in a wonderful Montessori that she has came to love today.  She made good friends - Timmy and Hannah and adore her teachers - Teachers M and Z.  I'm really grateful for the patience the teachers have in helping her adjust to school and truly admire their endless tireless dedication on the job.  She has a few months left with the school before going to Kindy and we'll be treasuring the last few months with them. 

Oh April - it was a horrible month!  Jules and I were sick for an entire month.  It started with her first cough then HFMD and a bout of really bad stomach flu.  I would like to erase every memory I have of that dreadful month and pray that it never repeats itself.  We were nonetheless thankful that through each of the sickness, Jules didn't need to be hospitalised (which was something our paed said we had to be prepared for if she became dehydrated) and her HFMD was considerably mild which she bravely got better within a day.  Only by God's grace. 

The sun came out in May and we all recovered in time for our first family holiday in years with the kids in toll!! Our last family holiday was before Jules arrived when we visited my sis in Ann Arbor.  Sophie was also all by 16 months old.  We ate our way through Penang and it was on the trip that Jules also started talking beyond her usual mono-words. 

June was quiet.  We spent out weekends lazing at home, waddling in the pool.  We also celebrated Fathers' Day and Jules made this for her Dada ....

July saw me taking on a new portfolio at work.  One that is more challenging but certainly also more meaningful.  As part of my work, I get to help ex-offenders, undischarged bankrupts, women back to work.  It makes work fulfilling and purposeful, I'm thankful for the opportunity to help these worker segments. 

It was birthday galore in August!! There was Sophie's Lorax birthday, then my dad turned 64. Sean also celebrated his 4th birthday.  We ended all that birthday partying with Mum's towards the end of the month. Imagine the amount of cakes I ate that month - my waistline wasn't happy. 

We kept with traditions and celebrated the Mid Autumn Festival in September with mooncakes and chinese tea.  We brought the kids on their little walk around the estate and also had a wonderful time at the Mid Autumn celebrations the school threw for the kids and families.  It was nice meeting her friends and their parents as we went on the lantern parade. 

October was the start of one event after another till the end of the year.  Starting with the hub's birthday.  I baked him a strawberry shortcake hoping to recreate it for Jule's birthday.  But it didn't turn out so well so we shelved those plans. 

In November, Jules turned 2!!! My little bunny was baby no more as she proudly embraced toddlerhood (and the Terrible Twos at the same time).  We celebrated her birthday in school and threw her a little party at home!! She was a truly a happy happy girl.  

We wrapped up the year seeing our daughter put up her very first performance in school - as a monkey!  I was so proud of her when she took to the stage, shook that tiny butt of hers and took the bow at the end.  

Then there was our family trip to Sydney where Jules finally got to see her kangaroos and koalas! We had a lovely lovely time there and it was a great way to bring the busy year to a close. 

Looking forward to what 2014 has in store and committing all our hopes and plans to God so that we can embrace the new year with even stronger faith to trust God for His providence and blessings. 

Jules Turns 2! - #1

Jules turns 2 tomorrow!  As I’m typing this, our little munch’kin is napping soundly in the room while two 8” chocolate cake are cooling in the kitchen waiting to be frosted for her little party tomorrow.  We also just spent the morning at her school together with 30 of her adorable, chatty little friends who crowded round her as she blew out that Number ‘2’ candle on her cake!! She couldn’t be more thrilled and I, I couldn’t be more proud!!

I think back on this time last year and marvel at how our daughter has grown.  She has gone from her wobbly tentative steps at 1 year to a little monkey jumping on the bed (literally like the song says).  She went from sleeping in that precious rocker of hers for a good 10 months and then to sleeping in her comfy pea pod to finally sleeping on the bed – like a big girl.  I can’t remember the last time she drank from her bottle since she went on to drinking from sippy cups and better yet these days “Mama, no hands, Juju hold cup”. She has abandoned her Sophie the Giraffe for my handbag, my watch, my 4” heels and my rings.  She goes around the house pretending she is all grown up and ready to “drive car”, “go work”.  Her vocabulary of a mere 10 words at 12 months has exploded to what may be in the region of hundred words today.  The little baby who woke up crying for me a year ago now runs to me with a morning hug and never fails to say her goodnights to everyone before bed.  More importantly, she has developed that sweet sensitivity to show love to the many people around her.  Tell me all this deserves at least an ‘A’ on her year-end appraisal if not an ‘A+’! 

While I think my daughter deserves a trophy, I would like to think that I haven’t done too badly on the report card either.  The year has had its challenges especially in the health department.  I was falling sick very often – I had a dengue scare, a hand-foot-mouth scare, a serious bout of stomach flu and the usual bad throats and colds in between.  It was probably a combination of lack of sleep for the past 2 years and lack of exercise (I can’t recall when was the last time I run!).  Jules too came down with a few serious cases – hand-foot-mouth, a bad case of stomach flu (that warranted an ER visit) and bronchitis.  There were also those crazy teething nights where she was waking up every other hour wanting to  be nursed.  I dreaded those moments and wished I had that remote control from the movie ‘Click’ so that I could just fast forward and move on to the happy parts – but I guess that would mean missing out on those extra cuddles we gave her when she was sick and those special bonding we shared as she nursed.  All very precious moments that has gone into giving her a very happy and secured 2 years of childhood.      

So never mind she’s still not sleeping through the night, never mind that we still haven’t succeeded at weaning or potty training.  Those shall be next year’s KPIs.  For now, I’m a proud Mama seeing what my little girl has achieved over the past year and thanking God every.single.day. for her and all the joy that she brings to the home.

We have been praying for this little one since the day we found out we conceived her.  Today, she prays along with us – thanking God for her day in the life of a toddler that’s filled with mischief, laughter and love.  Over the past two years, two things remain my constant prayer (1) that Jules will grow up to be a woman of God, with a heart for Him and with an even bigger heart to bring people to Him; and (2) that God will grant me all the wisdom to bring her up in a way that will always honour Him.  While I wait to see what adventure her 3^rd year will bring, I trust and believe that God will bring us on an exciting journey to making her a child-warrior for God and me, a better mother. 

Blessed birthday my sweet Julianne!        

{p/s: photo credit - the little aunt from her album - Juju Takes Over the World}

Twenty Twelve

Well it's still the new year (sort of - just 11 days old) so don't think it's too late to take a look back at my 2012.

While 2011 was the extraordinary year of conceiving and labouring in love before bringing Julianne into our world, 2012 was a year of embracing motherhood and all the sleepless nights, anxiousness, worries, laughter, joy, pride and love that came along with it.

2012 was certainty no walk in the park.  I struggled coping with Julianne's reflux especially during the months of February and March when she refused the bottle and would only nurse when she was sleepy or half asleep.  It was the single most stressful period of 2012.  Then April came and I was forced to deal with mummy guilt when I left her behind in the wonderful care of my mum and returned to work.  I remember spending Day 1 back at work weeping in the nursing  room missing my daughter so badly (sounds silly now that I think about it after being back at work for a good 8 months).  In between January and December, there were of course those sleepless nights when she was unwell, teething or going through some major development and as a result - fussy and needy - believing that since she can't sleep, then no one else in the room should be either.

Circa CNY 2012 - the peak of her reflux

In August, I also lost my grandfather to an infection that proved too strong for his 89 year old body.  His passing was sudden by my standards.  When my uncle passed on 12 New Year's eve ago, I saw him bravely fight his cancer relapse for 6 months before God called him Home.  In 2010, I saw Ah Ma growing more and more frail by the months as her kidney functions slowed down with each visit we paid her.  Yeye was different - he was 89.  Driving to work everyday, enjoying his shabu shabu beef, sushi and teochew porridge and travelling around the world - from Tibet to the Antartic.  His mind, lucid and alert enough to run the family business even at this age.  I always believed he had many more good years ahead of him but God had other plans.

So glad that at least Jules gotta see her great-grandfather ....
and made him smile just before he went for his operation

Thankfully, there were more things to cheer about in 2012 than there were painful memories.  In February, I welcomed my little nephew Ry into this world.  Today he's a chubby little munchkin and turing one soon!

Little Ry joins the gang

Then in July, I welcomed my sister and her family home after having them away in the States for 9 years!  That has got to be one of the highlights of the year.  I'm glad she's home to see Jules grow up, I'm glad she home for me to see Sophie grow up.

Home at last!

Throughout the year, there were of course those amazing Julianne-growing-up moments that words alone can't quite explain why they made up the sunshine and rainbows of my 2012.  All the joy and mummy-pride overflowing whenever she hit a developmental milestone - like when she first called "Mama" in May and when she took her first step in October.  Not forgetting all the laughter she brought to the home with her hilarious dance moves or stand-up monologue that she performs in front of her miserable 6 die-heart fans at home.

My little sunshine!!

2012 had its challenges but by the grace of God, I overcame them.  Humbled, polished and refined along the way.  2012 also had its many great moments - those that you wish time just stood still.  

I'm all ready to take on 2013 and all that it will bring.  I of course hope happy days will out number the stormy ones and pray that in both circumstances, I just never forget to be thankful for His grace, mercy, strength and love that brings me through year after year no matter what the circumstances may be.

I hope everyone's off to a fabulous 2013 and may the rest of your year with sprinkled with lots of blessings and love all round!  

Thankful Today {29th - 31st December}

And to wrap up the Thankful Today series, here's to close 2012 . . .

29th December . . .

2012

It truly was a year where I found myself looking ever more to God for perseverance and wisdom to be the best mother I could be to Julianne. It was also a year where we looked to him for encouragement as a family when the going got tough with Yeye fighting for his life in the ICU, subsequently losing the battle to infection.  It was a year of God's providence and grace, a year of his faithfulness that was unfailing and steadfast, a year of drawing on His strength through those tiring days caring for Jules, a year of humbling ourselves and acknowledging that His ways were greater than ours.  Being thankful for all that God has done and looking forward to what He has in store for us in 2013! 

30 December . . .

Days ahead

I end each year not knowing what God has in store for me in the year ahead.  But I also end each year recounting all those clear blue sky days and cloudy days and giving thanks that through the good and not so good days of the year, God's grace and love keeps me standing firm on His solid ground and growing in my faith as I learn through the bad times to trust in Him, and through the good times to be thankful.  And that's just how my days ahead will be - both clear blue skies and cloudy skies but I hope I'll be like that tree, standing unwavering in my faith.

31st December . . .

Resolutions

Love - that's my resolution for 2013.  To continue to expand my capacity to love.  To love my husband, my daughter and my family more than I ever have this year.  To continue loving the job that I've been in for the past 8 years, to teach my daughter love and above all, to love God with all my heart, my mind and my soul.  It's not the easiest resolution to keep because I know there'll be those days when the husband may irritate, when Julianne may be difficult, when family may upset me, when the boss just makes me hate my job and when things don't go my way and I wonder where God is.  And all I want to do is just snap at everyone.  It's then that I need to remind myself to love and I want to do more of that in 2013.  Be a better wife, a better mother, a better daughter, sister and friend.  A better child of God.  Be better at loving.  

Thankful to God for my 2012 and looking forward to walking each day of 2013 with Him.  

Thankful Today {24th - 28th December}

24th December . . .

Star

There wasn't any way for me to take a photo of the Star of Bethlehem so this was taken off the internet.  Just a day to Christmas and we're reminded about Christmas beyond turkey and presents of the true meaning of Christmas and the reason we celebrate.  Thankful for the birth of Christ and the Christmas Star that revealed the birth of Christ to the Wise Men.  I can only imagine it must have been awesome to be at the house of Jesus to see him lying in the manger.  

25th December . . .

Christmas

Nothing like basking in the love of family at Christmas and taking time to be thankful for the year and all of God's providence that is always, always more than we ever need. 

26th December  . . .

Journey

At 14 months, Julianne remains exclusively breastfed - a journey that I embarked on since her birth and one that I'm very thankful I'm still on today.  I'm thankful for understanding bosses that know I need to use the nursing room regularly while at work and thankful that today, I still have sufficient supply to meet her daily milk intake with extra to freeze away in  the milk bank.  I've no plans to wean her just yet and would love to continue on this journey till both of us are ready to be weaned.

27th December . . . 

Someone

Thankful for that one person who has given me tireless support in the past year as I coped with my new demands of motherhood.  For putting up with my impatience, for allowing me to vent on him when the going got tough, for sharing the load of parenting and for being an awesome papa to our daughter.  Really couldn't have made through the year without him standing by me.  

28th December . . .

Where I walked

This is the street where we live - a street Julianne is very familiar with cos we take her for walks daily at the nearby park connector.  Ask her where is our house and she'll point it out to you as we walk past it.  I've been walking this street since I was a kid - it's the same street my dad grew up on and I'm glad my daughter and I are now walking on it the way grandpa did when he was a child.    

Thankful Today {22nd - 23rd December}

Phew ... finally caught up (somewhat) ...

22nd December . . . 

Room

Like a boss.  This photo is classic.  Julianne missed stairs so much while we were on our trip to Melbourne, she got so excited when she saw the staircase at Uncle Albert's home she climbed up happily and found herself in the middle of his family area.  She must have decided that it was a good place to do a quick pose.  Gotta love my daughter's sassiness! Thanking God for her oh so adorable disposition! 

23rd December . . .

Celebration

When Julianne celebrated her first birthday two months ago, it was like I should celebrate too for making it past the first year! It has been the most humbling one year for me ever with so much about her life I am so thankful for.  Looking forward to celebrating her many more birthdays with her! 

Thankful Today {15th Dec - 21 Dec}

Playing catch up with Thankful Today ....  Here's being thankful for the week past. 

15th December . . .

Walk

When Julianne took her first steps at 11 months, 2 weeks and 4 days, it was a proud moment for me **sniff sniff**.  Such a milestone and I truly give thanks for how well she's developing.  At the peak of her reflux, I was getting worried that her struggle with putting on the weight would affect her development - just how wrong was I.  

16th December . . . 

Small

Ooh just how small are those tiny hands compared to her Uncle Jude's.  I know I'm going to miss those tiny hands that reaches out to feed me her puffs or carrots or to stroke my face.  Don't grow up too fast Julianne.  

17th December . . .

Bright

Brightly lighted lanterns which we put up year after year to celebrate Mid Autumn Festival.  There's something about celebrating such traditions with my family that warms my heart and I'm thankful that in this home, some things just don't change, just the way my paternal granny would have done things if she was still around today.  

18th December . . .

Gift

This year's Christmas gift for my colleagues at work.  For years now, I've made it a point to present my colleagues with something home-made for Christmas.  Usually a cupcake or something I bake but there were also years when I gave each one a jar of cocoa powder topped with mashmallow for them to prepare their very own hot chocolate drink.  Or the other year when I made almond butter in packed them into little jam jars.  This year after a year's haitus (cos I was on maternity leave last year), they'll each be getting a slice of fudgy chocolate brownie (recipe courtesy of Jamie Oliver), topped with a little Christmas cupcake topper.  Giving thanks that I work with a wonderful bunch of people ... does make the office all that more a better place. 

19th December . . .

Round

Can't say no to cakes.  Realised that this year, all our birthday cakes were round.  Starting with the chocolate cake I baked for the husband for his 36th and then Julianne's special 1st birthday cake ending off the year with my cake from the good people at Patissier.  Thankful for God's providence year after year as we blow out the candles on our cakes.  

20th December . . .

7 o'clock

This is the 7 o'clock in the morning face that I wake up to everyday.  Such a wonderful way to start my day and I count my blessings everyday to have this little sunshine in my life!!! 

21st December . . .

Dinner
p/s: photo not representative of what we have for dinner everyday.  just couldn't find a photo of mum's home-cook meal

Dinners are a huge deal for me.  On weekdays with everyone away at work and school in the day, dinnertime is just about the only time when the family sits down to catch up with each other.  In our family, we make it a point to have dinner together everyday.  I'm thankful that we're usually able to have everyone at the table 3 out of 5 days.  Mondays are Bibles Study Fellowship days for Dad and Sam and the sister is usually out for date-nights on Fridays.