It's been so long since I last blogged, and to say that much has happened in the past 6 months is an understatement. In the past 30 days alone, I have (1) moved to a new home, (2) had a baby and (3) celebrated my first born's 3rd birthday!! Could only have been God's strength that sustained me and made all this possible. How everything just fell into place in the most perfect of timing. All that talk I hear about how second child always comes early made me really anxious with me and Jules catching a nasty flu bug when I was 38 weeks. Then there was the big move which we brilliantly timed so closed to my EDD that I was so afraid Olivia would arrive too early and spoil our plans. I really need to have more faith because God is always outdoing Himself and leaving us floored by His goodness. In the end, He made sure that I was completely healed of my flu (which took a good 2 weeks to go away completely) and didn't just make sure we moved in but also made sure we settled in nicely to the new place before He gave Ollie the marching orders out of my womb.
And so 9 October 2014 came and our second daughter - Olivia, Ming-En was born.
Like her sister, she loved being in utero so much, she had to be invited into the world. Don't know what's with my kids and wanting to stay snuggled in the womb! Two births later and I actually still don't really know how going into labour feels!!! We left the house 6am that Thursday morning and I remember being in tears as we drove away from home. My heart was with Jules and I felt so sad that the next time I see her, she wasn't going to be my only child anymore. It was almost like I felt guilty for taking away her single child status from her. I was worried how she was going to cope without me putting her to sleep the next few nights (a routine that no one else - not even her daddy - has done for her since she was born). I was more worried about her than about the impending delivery. The husband held my hand as we drove down the quiet early morning roads and we said a little prayer. Prayers and a husband's reassuring hand always makes things better.
By 7.30am, we were settled in the delivery suite. Unlike her sister who made me work 15 hours before she decided to see the world, labour was much faster this time round. Induced at 9am and she arrived in time for her first lunch at the breast! Love my anaesthetist who made it so painless with the epidural and love my gynae who helped us with yet another smooth delivery. I did have similiar complications with my uterus not contracting properly after delivery but it wasn't as severe as with Jules so all in all, a much smoother delivery and a much shorter hospital stay as Ollie was given the all clear with her jaundice level.
Ollie turns one month in a few days and she's rounding up nicely. We're still figuring out her personality and think she's going to be quite quite different from her big sister. For one, she's more of a crier. Cries every 3 hours demanding for her food because when it's time for milk, she wants it NOW! Cries when we put her down for nap unless she deep deep in sleep. Cries because to her, that's what babies do. Jules was much less a crier although in the past month, she has cried in the middle of the night more than she has ever cried in the past 3 years! That has been our greatest challenge to date with two - helping Jules adjust to her big sister status. And if you think buying her a present and telling her Ollie gave it to her is going to solve the problem, it isn't. For the past 3 years, she has had me to herself exclusively at night. I put her to sleep, I nurse her, I soothe her back to bed. If she wants to hold my hand to sleep, she has my hand. When she wakes up in the middle of the night, I'm right there by her side. Ollie's arrival meant that security has now got to be broken with me having to be with Ollie for the night feeds. We've put her in her own room with the move and the plan for now is that daddy sleeps with her. Clearly that plan isn't working like we had hoped. She has woken up every single night since we got home with baby, wiggled her way out of her room (sometimes without waking her sleepyhead daddy) and made her way up the stairs to our room in her sleepy, teary state. If I'm not feeding Ollie, it's still manageable - I'll carry her and bring her back to her room and pat her back to bed. But if I happen to be nursing at that time, she goes quite hysterical and will have a complete meltdown with leg kicking actions all thrown in. The first week was rough and frustrating for us. On one hand, I know it was tough for her and it really broke my heart seeing her so desperately wanting me by her bedside throughout the night. On the other hand, I couldn't comprehend why she could not understand that her little sister now needed me more than her at night and that she was not all alone since daddy was with her. I guess I expect too much from my little girl who really is all but 3 years old. I forget that perhaps no matter how old they get, they really sometimes just need Mama. We're seeing some improvement of late. She's starting to understand and accept that she now needs to share Mama (and the breast). I nursed Jules through my pregnancy (just short nursing sessions for Jules before nap and bedtime) all the way till the night before Ollie's appointed arrival and I guess the last thing I should do is take that one thing that really is just about her and me away from her just because Ollie is now here.
|Saying bye to her little sister before heading to school for her birthday celebration!|
Was just talking with my doctor this morning who like her husband (my gynae) is always so ready with sound advice and she reminded us that this is a journey we go through as parents. The early days are not easy and with a toddler, it's not just double, it's alot more because there are emotions to handle. She cautioned me about managing guilt with my duties as a mum so that I don't slip into post natal depression. She reminded us too that being parents to two beautiful gals doesn't make us any less a couple and that we should find time for each other as well once we settle everyone into a nice routine. So we press on in this journey, we have each other, we have our daughters, we have family and most importantly, we have God. For I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.