Finally ....

After nine years .... they are finally home.  For good.  What better way to celebrate then a big cousin hug!!! 

Sophie is such a big girl now.  She's so incredibly chatty for a toddler who's just about to turn 3!  She says the funniest, sweetest and most sensible things, she could have a long conversation with you over tea and some fish ball crackers about how you MUST have spicy tuna and nothing else because "you don't have a choice" 

I think Julianne was a little overwhelmed to see so many people in the house last night and wondering why there was someone else in her playpen with her.  At one point, I was convinced she thought Sophie was just another toy in her playpen when she kept trying to pull her apart like she does to her stuff toys.  It was too cute to watch.  And hearing Sophie just randomly call out "I love you Juju" in the sweetest of voice was just so endearing!  

Welcome home Chets, Jude and Sophie!! So very happy to have you guys finally home!! 

Cousin Love

Healing

In the past week, I witnessed the power of God's healing grace working not once, not twice but on three occasions!  

It started with Julianne who came down with a mild throat infection that led to a fever and turned my usual sweet nurtured baby into one fussy child who refused to be put down to sleep for two nights in a row, wanting instead to be cuddled and held close to her Mama.  Thank God for her Papa's insistence of bringing her to the paed even though it was just a mild temperature.  I had initially thought it was teething related and so thought a visit to Dr Hiew wasn't all that necessary.  But the hubs thought it was better just to get a peace of mind.  So glad we did cause it turned out that it wasn't teething related after all and the fever was caused by a mild throat infection - possibly from the puffs and rice crackers I had been feeding her which could have been too dry for the throat.  This was the first time Julianne had a non vaccination related fever and to say I wasn't ready for the fussiness was an understatement.  You can read here about what a monster of a mother I became when I was sleep-deprived for two nights.  With prayer, Julianne was much better after just two days although her appetite wasn't back in full swing.  Even then, while nursing her fever, she was still pretty much her usual happy self, dancing and clapping away during the day, playing with Por Por and Yiyi Sam.  By Day 3 she got her appetite back and was pretty much back to sleeping like a champ at night. Praise God for His healing! 

Then there was my Dad who came down with a really bad backache, so bad, he couldn't bend and couldn't even carry Julianne while standing cause he couldn't take carrying all 7.5kg of her weight.  With grand-dad still in hospital, he had been shuttling between home in the east, hospital in town and office in Jurong, the backache was a sign that he's body was tired and worn out from all that running around.  With grand-dad in critical condition and needing all the support, this really wasn't a good time for Daddy to fall sick so we prayed for God's protection over him, that he won't fall ill and that he'll be healed of his back ache.  Miraculously, the next day, after a well rested sleep, he said the pain was all gone!  It could only be our answered prayers.  Praise the Lord! 

I know Dad and Julianne's illness seemed superficial but it was like a prelude to the most amazing testimony of His healing grace this family has experienced in years because in the days that followed, my grand-dad who has been in and out of ICU for the past two weeks miracously got better overnight.  And to top it all, he also received spiritual healing as he finally accepted Christ!  Now how awesome is that!

It all started with a trip to Guangzhou that resulted in a fall at the airport en route back to Singapore.  When the pain from the fall didn't get better, we sent him for a thorough check with the doctors and was told a quick surgery to correct a bone alignment would set things straight.  But that quick surgery turned into a 4 hour long operation as the doctors uncovered underlying problems with his colon that had apparently ruptured.  The 4 hour long operation proved too strenous for his 89 year old body and pretty much sent his body into shock and he was sent to the ICU.  We were told the next 48 hours were critical, and then the next 5 days.  He pulled through the first 48 hours and was transferred to the High Dependency Unit before he was finally allowed to be transferred to the normal ward.  But before the 5 day ciritical period was over, his body started showing signs of distress again with abnormally low heart beat.  They sent him back to ICU for the second time where his condition took a turn for the worst, requiring a blood transfusion even.  He could barely speak, his only form of communication with the children was pointing to the 26 letters of the alphabets that we had written on the white board in front of him.  We could only pray.  That was Sunday.  On Monday, when we got home from work and checked in with my Dad on Yeye's condition, we were told not only was he miraculously better (lucid enough to ask about office matters even), he also accepted the Lord!  Dad shared that piece of news with tears in his eyes - probably the second time I remember seeing my Dad cry (the only other time being when his yougest brother lost the battle with cancer).  What greater healing could we ask for! 

Today, Yeye is still in the High Dependency Unit. Just a few moments ago, Dad called to say doctors now suspect he has puenomia as his lungs have been very weak for a few days now.  We continue to pray but take heart that doctors believe the worst is over and that Yeye is a strong man who'll pull through.  By the grace of God, we believe with them.  He has a team of wonderful doctors behind him - what one of Daddy's cell group mates, who's a doctor himself, called the Dream Team - and we thank God for that.  But ultimately, we put our trust in the Greatest Healer, our Jehovah Rapha and trust that He will heal Yeye completely in His time. 

Pray along with me if you can.    

Letters to Julianne #12

Dearest Julianne,

I’m writing to you because I feel like a horrible Mama today and I just wanted to say sorry baby. I should have been more patient with you last night when you kept me up the entire night for the second night running and refuse to be put down in your cot. I know you must be feeling terrible with that throat infection and all Mama could think of was when you were going to just sleep and stop being needy.

I am angry with myself for the way I was losing my temper with you, getting frustrated and irritated and not understanding why it was so difficult for you to just SLEEP. I put my own need for sleep before your need to be cuddled and comforted and I am sorry for being so selfish.

This is the first time you are sick and so needy at night. You’re usually a champ when it comes to sleeping at night and all I had to do when you stirred was to nurse you back to bed. But these past two night, you needed more than nursing. You wanted to be close by me, your way of saying “Mama, please stay with me, I’m not well and I want to snuggle up close  to you”. I should have understood that earlier, then I wouldn’t have been so impatient like I was. I reflected on my behaviour over quiet time this morning and I’m really sorry for my bad behaviour. I promise I’ll do better tonight and that I’ll cuddle and cradle you in my arms for as long as you feel comforted.

Mama pinkie promise you that I won’t behave this way again and that I’ll be here for you no matter what it takes out of me.

I’m sorry baby. Mama love you very much. You’ll be well soon I promise.

Love you so much,

Mama

Cornerstone

My hope is built on nothing less

Than Jesus' blood and righteousness

I dare not trust the sweetest frame

But wholly trust in Jesus' Name

Christ alone

Cornerstone

Weak made strong

In the Saviour's love

Through the storm

He is Lord

Lord of all

When darkness seems to hide His face

I rest on His unchanging grace

In every high and stormy gale

My anchor holds within the veil

My anchor holds within the veil

When He shall come with trumpet sound

Oh may I then in Him be found

Dressed in His righteousness alone

Faultless stand before the throne

Change ....

Inspired by Mama J at Mums in Making, I thought it’ll be nice too to pen down my thoughts of how motherhood has changed me.  Unlike many other mummy blogs I follow, many of whom are mummies to more than one child, I’m really new to this whole motherhood business having been a mum for a grand total of just 8 months.  But whether its 8 months or 8 years, I believe change is evitable.  You start by making space in your heart for your precious child(ren) and that single act alone creates that ripple effect that changes just about everything else in your life because now before I do anything, say anything or eat anything I think about how that’s going to affect Julianne’s routine, her character (because Bambi once said “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all”) and her main source of food – breastmilk. 

I never liked change.  I’m a routine girl and a planner.  I hate being thrown off schedule and feel uneasy when I start the day without a clue of what I’ll be doing that day.  Pre-Julianne, our holiday itineraries come in the form of excel spreadsheets, what time we’ll be at this place, that place;  what time train we gotta catch.  Then the little pumpkin came and changed all that.  Now ‘play by ear’ is the motto of the day.  On the many occasions we made plans to bring her out and leave the house by a certain time, our daughter will choose to have an extended nap and throw our schedule off tangent. It’s like she’s all out to make sure everyone goes by Julianne Foo’s schedule and nothing else.  Then there were those times when we were out and I wanted to go into the scrapbook store to pick up some stash or walk into Zara to browse a little when Little Miss I-Decide-The-Plan-Here decided that she was tired and needed to nap, and I forget all about that pretty patterned paper I wanted to pick up or that blouse I saw the mannequin wearing.  So yes, Julianne has pretty much taken over as my personal assistant.  She now manages my schedule.

But you see, as much as I hate change, motherhood for me came with that natural openness to now embrace change.  Before Julianne arrived, I told myself that I had to learn to be more flexible and that routine will probably no longer exist in my dictionary.  I thought I would have a hard time adjusting to this but no.  It wasn’t like I was angry with having my life now revolve around Julianne.  It was something that as a mother, you so willingly and naturally do without a whimper of complain, all because you made that space in your heart for your child.  I guess that’s how God works.  He blessed you with child, He also knows how to change the kind of person you once were, equipping you with the patience and love to bring up this child.  It’s like it all comes in His motherhood package for you.    

Our life now revolves around her and will continue to for many more years to come.  If we have another child, God willing, we take a longer time to complete that revolution and if you do your sums, it’ll be some time before we have some normalcy in our lives.  But as cliché as it may sound, I would not have wanted this any other way.  When you see her give me her big wide smile, or when she opens her arms wide asking me to carry her or when she breaks into her soft sweet voice calling out “Mama”, you’ll understand why I will not trade Julianne just to put routine back into my life.

Julianne my sunshine

Letters to Julianne #11

Dearest Julianne, 

Your 8th month must have been pretty special for you having mastered crawling! Yes, God created us with the ability to not just roll on our tummies to get from toy A to toy B, He created us with the ability to crawl too! Crawling is way more cool isn't it?  Wait till you discover walking pumpkin!  We pretty much still confine your crawling to the bed and playmat for fear that you'll plonk your head onto the floor so for that reason, you haven't quite started roaming freely around the house on all fours yet.We'll get there once you're more confident of crawling alright?


Yiyi Sam has been teaching you new tricks.  The latest is the royal wave.  

With you new found mobility, we've had many near misses of you falling off the bed.  Really can't lift our eyes off you for a second these days.  You've also mastered climbing out of your rocker if not strapped down entirely.  The other day, when Por Por buckled you in only on one side just to grab something from the room thinking you weren't capable of getting out, you went all out to prove her otherwise and earned yourself a little red bumped on your forehead.  The thing about you,  you like to crawl your way to anything that can help pull yourself up to stand.  And when you do, you confidently lift up one hand, choosing only to hold onto whatever it is you're holding onto with just one hand!  You're such a show-off really and that young lady is going to land you in some big trouble one day.  You've also started cruising a little in your cot and playpen.  You'll hold onto the side bars and cruise from one end to the other quite easily.  Por Por thinks you'll be an early walker.  For all we know, by the time we go for our first holiday in December, you'll be able to walk.   

Look just one hand Mama

From the report card Por Por gives me everyday, I know you have alot of fun every afternoon playing with Por Por and Yiyi Sam.  They tell me all the funny things you like to do on Por Por's bed and the little mischiefs you get up to.  Like how you will bobb everytime you hear a familiar tune on TV and get so exciting (apparently you like the weather music on ChannelNewsAsia and the FoodNetwork tune), you literally lift your little butt off the bed.  The other day, you were bobbing so hard, you ended up falling back onto the bed and thought it was so funny, you got up, bobbed again and fell again like it was a game!  We think you've a pretty good sense of humour for an 8 month old!  I think you're going to miss having Yiyi Sam around so often once she starts Uni in August. 

On the reflux front, we've finally reduced your dosage to once a day instead of the twice we were on. Praise God for that!! Feeding you your meds is a daily chore and I hate it that you had to go through it twice a day.  Ain't you glad we just need to do this once now?  At our latest review a few days ago, Dr Vas was very pleased with the weight you've put on in the past 1 month.  You put on 400g in the past 1 month and now weigh in at 7.2kg.  It's the biggest weight gain for the record since you were diagnosed with reflux.  You're still a small peanut and nowhere near going off the charts for sure, in fact you're only slightly above the 15th percentile according to WHO's chart but we're definitely making progress with Project Fatten Up Julianne.  We gotten thank Por Por for all that yummy porridge she's been feeding you with and the people at Healthy Times for the yummy cereals they produce which you polish every evening.  Would you also like to give Mama some credit for all the milk I religiously pump for you every 4 hours at work?   

You're one very happy baby and such a bundle of joy to be around.  You add so much sunshine into our lives, a piece of work you're so good at doing, it's like that's your job - to make us happy.  You're always ready with a smile for the familiar faces around you.  With unfamiliar faces, you're usually feel a little apprehensive but given time, you'll eventually warm up enough to break into a smile.  I'm so glad that Gong Gong and Por Por finally have the chance to experience grandparenting, something they don't get to do very much with Che Che Sophie.  And even more glad to see them enjoying every moment of it., and you savouring every moment of that love they give  But Che Che Sophie is coming home really soon and you've gotta learn to share Gong Gong and Por Por's love and time with her alrighty?  You're going to have so much fun with Che Che Sophie and from the sweetest things she says - like how she wants to bring home her changing mat for you - I already know how much she's gonna love you!!  

Love from Che Che Sophie

This month, you learnt funny facial expressions, the cutest has to be the pout.  You're doing it less these days but when you were around 7.5 months, you were pouting so much, every other photo we took caught you pouting!  Exercising those lips? 

Little Miss Pouty

At 8 months, you're still not sleeping through the night. Sigh ... when is that going to happen?  But that doesn't disturb me as much as the fact that you're still taking your day naps in your precious rocker!  Oh Julianne, just when do you intend to start napping on the bed?  There's just that little bit more of your weight the rocker can take before it's going to give way!  There's no way I'm going to lug that darn thing with us all the way to Melbourne come December so between now and then, you better start learning to nap on the bed!  Deal? You sleep perfectly in your cot at night so I really don't understand what's so difficult about doing the same in the day!  

Her fisher price rocker - it's like her life depends on it

Food wise, you're averaging 4 milk feeds and 2 solids a day with little snacks of puffs and crackers in between.  We started you on real proteins this month after a failed attempt last month at introducing ikan bilis into your porridge.  So these days, your lunch porridge is a blend of either ikan kurau fish or minced chicken with either carrots or pumpkin.  I also introduced egg yolks into your diet and made you pasta for the first time the other day.  Later this evening, in celebration of your 8th month, I'll be introducing you to the world of soy!  Steamed tofu with egg yolk awaits you for dinner!!  Fingers crossed that you'll react well to soy.    

Enjoying her pasta

4 more months to your 1st birthday!!  I'm clearly more excited than you at the thought of that!  We plan to throw you a small little cozy party with family, nothing too big since you ain't gonna understand anything at this age and a big party is just gonna turn out to be an adults party more than anything.  We'll save the big party for when you start school and have more friends k!  I promise!  

Happy 8th month my sweet Julianne.  Mama loves you so much and from the smile, snuggles and hugs you give me, I know that feeling is mutual!! 

My Sunshine!

Happy growing! This time next month - guess who'll be home to celebrate your 9th month with you? Can't wait!! 

Love much, 

Mama