Chasing away the clouds

It has been a week and though the dust has somewhat settled since Yeye’s passing, I just feel I’ve been out of sorts these past few days. I can’t exactly pin point what it is about but I just feel a whole bag of different emotions, mainly not very nice ones.

Maybe it’s the blues from returning to work after being away from the office for a week and spending so much time with Julianne (the longest break I’ve had since I returned to work, though I wished it wasn’t under those circumstances). Or the anger and disappointment I’m feeling at the insensitive behaviour of certain people during my family’s recent bereavement. Perhaps it’s just me being pensive and reflective at this whole life and death thing and thinking about how our life here on earth is nothing but temporal. Maybe it’s the lingering sadness that Yeye is no longer around made worst at seeing my Dad wake up at 4am unable to go back to bed because he more than I, am still trying to get over the lost of his father whom he rushed to see every morning for the past one month and whom he made sure he visited three time a day no less, hoping at each visit that it will not be the last. To Dad, it’s like his duties as the eldest son is now over and he’s not sure what to make out of that. Yes, he put on that smile at Sophie’s birthday, he kept himself occupied helping my sister with her big move, he’ll go gaa-gaa with Julianne, but something on his face tells me that this is still painful for him and he is trying to find some rest and healing.

But with all that said, I’m just glad that through these down moments, I have family surrounding me, in whose love I can count on basking in. My sister who sends me mid-day updates on how my greedy little niece is cracking her teachers up in school asking for ‘more worms’ (referring to her lunch of mee tai mak noodles), my other sister who comes on car rides with me to buy ice cream just because I feel like eating them, my husband who bothers to wake up with me for night feeds to drape that shawl over my shoulder so that I don’t catch a chill. My mum who’ll bring Juju out with her sisters instead of leaving her with our helper cos she knows that's how I’ll want it and my dad, who puts up that brave front just so that the atmosphere at home is not all gloom.  And beyond my immediate family, I've a closely knitted extended family whom I love and treasure. 

Loving my family and giving thanks for them.

Happy photo to chase those clouds away ....