His Grace . . .

Two hours to the end of 2011 and to what has been an extraordinary year for me.  

On my left, I have my precious daughter sleeping soundly in her crib.  On my right, my dearest husband, happily surfing the internet.  Outside of our room, my little niece is being tucked into bed by my sister while my parents are in their room, one sipping his limited edition Glenfiddich, the other watching some taiwanese drama.  The younger sis, on her way to Watchnight service with a special friend in whom she found both love and God. 

We've all been blessed, in our own little ways.  2011 has been good and because I've only one hour to catch a quick nap before my darling daughter awakes, reflections of my extraordinary year will come in a later post. 

Thanking God for my 2011 that was filled with nothing but His amazing Grace and looking forward to my 2012 with Him walking ahead of me. 

Blessed 2012 everyone!

Thankful . . .

This Christmas, I'm thankful for

Family for their tremendous love and support,

My husband, for loving me all these years for what I am,

My sweet sweet child, God's precious gift to me 

and

Jesus - God's greatest gift to men.

Blessed Christmas one and all!

Cousin Love

Since I was visibly pregnant with Julianne (at least enough for Sophie to see my baby bump over Skype), my sister has been telling her about Baby Julianne and how Sophie was going to get to see her when she came back to S'pore. 

She told her teachers about it, pretended to want to go back into her Mama's tummy "like Baby Julianne" and even wanted to give away her favourite squeaky giraffe!  

I was really excited for the cousins to meet even though Julianne probably doesn't understand anything.  When Sophie first saw Baby Julianne, she didn't quite want to come too close, only when her Mama carried Julianne did she come forward, as if reminding her mother that - hey don't forget about me.  

But over the past week or so, Sophie has warmed up so much to Julianne, it's just so sweet.  She plants little kisses on her cousin, helped wash Baby Julianne's hair and loves giving her little pats pats, its so sweet to watch.

She actually looks for Baby Julianne when she comes back to my parents' place and loves to ask "why is Baby Julianne crying?" whenever she hears her cousin's cries.  Her other favourite - "Baby Julianne is so cute".  Yesterday, at the Underwater World, while I was feeding Julianne under my nursing cover, my sweet little niece came over and stroked Julianne's little feet as if giving her some tender loving care.  What a sweetie, learning to love at such a young age.  

I'm looking forward to the two of them playing together soon!!

"I wanna be home Mama"

With Christmas just 10 days away, I badly needed to get my shopping done.  Till date, I've only brought Julianne out to very public areas twice; for dim sum lunch to celebrate her 1st month and to church.  I really wasn't sure how it was gonna turn out but I thought now that we have the stroller, perhaps things won't be too bad.  

So I had her diaper bag all packed the day before, picked out her clothes and made sure both dearie and I got ourselves orientated with her new Bugaboo Bee stroller.  We gave her an early wash up and by 9am, she was all ready for her excursion.  I had my shopping strategy all worked out hoping to complete it in 2 hours before lunch with my grandparents.

My plan to reach town by 10am didn't materialise - lesson to self: forget about scheduling with baby.    Thankfully Julianne fell asleep in the car on the ride to town (which I had hoped) so I managed to shop in peace for about 30 minutes.  But with 15 items on my shopping list, I only completed three by noon and then our dear pumpkin woke up. 

I managed to check off two more items on my list while Grandma carried her.  You should have seen me, I was literally running inside Takashimaya to get from one boutique to another!  Managed a 2-hour dim-sum lunch with the grandparents carrying her in my arms half the time before making another dash to try get more shopping done.  

By 3pm, I was done with 10 items, a sleepy and hungry daughter and a very stressed out me.  I was very proud of Julianne though, no meltdowns, just wanting to be carried as usual.  I know she was tired cos she didn't sleep since 6am but she held up real well.  Even when it was time to eat and I couldn't feed her cos we were waiting for Papa to drive the car over, she just happily sucked on her tiny fist and exercised patience!      

But the outing left her totally stimulated she didn't go down for her nap till 5pm and happily slept past her next feed.  When we tried to give her a bathe, she was clearly way to sleepy and I couldn't bear to wake her up with all that splish-splash so we made do with only a clean up. 

I don't know how some of these mothers do it lagging their week old baby around town.  I honestly find it too stressful for myself and for the child.  I think Julianne is happier at home, napping on Por Por's bed, eating when she's hungry and breathing in fresher air than that of the malls.  

No more shopping with her in toll for a while now.  Home is better. 

Sophie's Home!!

Sophie the cutie!, a photo by pz.sher on Flickr.

The little one cutie one is home and had a ball(oon) of a fun yesterday chasing after balloons and serving everyone ice-cream! ... It so nice to have her, my sis and Jude back!  She's the cutest and her vocabulary amazes everyone - down to her grammer! Its almost scary.    

The two cousins finally met yesterday and it was the sweetest thing when Sophie planted Baby Julianne a little kiss on the forehead! Awww ... sweet child.  Later that evening, she even washed Julianne's hair! Can't wait for Julianne to grow up so that she can play with her adorable cousin! 

Its so nice to have family home.  With Sophie and Julianne, our family is growing merrily.  What blessings! I know the grandparents are happy - although Grandma just have to learn to live with the mess as the house turns into a play-school for the next 3 weeks! 

Time Out

This morning at 7am, out of exhaustion from looking after Julianne last night, I drove the car out for the first time in 2 months - just me, myself and I, let the windows down and breathed the 7am fresh air, went to the market to get breakfast for the family and finally saw human activities not related to milk, pooping or babies.  

It felt really good.  Really really good. 

Before I left, I told the hubs to take care of Jules.  Guess what greeted me when I came home from my short 15 minutes getaway?  The entire family - Gong Gong, Por Por and Papa - waiting for me in the living room downstairs with Julianne on her gym mat.  It was a funny sight.  As if they couldn't wait to return my darling fussy daughter to me.    

Oh well, 15 minutes better than nothing and then we start the whole nursing, pooping, rocking and singing all over again.  

This everyone is my beautiful life.

Fifi Yew . . .

Only my niece can be a scientist, fairy princess and ballerina in a tutu all at the same time and still look so darn adorable!!


5 more days to Sophie cuteness!! Yiyi can't wait for you to come back!  See you soon!! Baby Julianne is waiting for you to tickle her!

Precious ....

How to be angry with such a face even when she sometimes refuses to sleep, cries and wants Papa and Mama to wake up with her at 5am? 

At 5 weeks, Julianne is growing into such an adorable child with a personality of her own. She likes people to be gentle with her that means rocking, singing and talking to her gently.  During her occasional meltdowns, only Mama's gentle talking will calm her down.  I'm convinced she has come to recognise my voice and even my face (maybe its more the smell of milk).  

She is generally a good-natured baby and honestly hasn't been too difficult, lest for the few off-days.  Few things make her cry - (1) Coming out from her bathe.  She gets upset with us for taking her out of the water so changing her into her PJs can sometimes be such a challenge. (2) The feed before bed has been challenging.  For some reason, she will struggle at the breast, wanting to eat yet refusing it.  And strangely, its only this feed.  We're still trying to figure out what the reason could be.  I'm guessing either she's really tired or she's not hungry cos sometimes, I nurse her just to get her to bed even though it isn't quite a feed time.  

I'm enjoying spending my day with her even if it means having nursing, changing of poopy diapers and rocking her to sleep on repeat mode for a good 10 hours before the rest of the family comes home.  The wonderful hubs now tries to come back for lunch whenever he can and gets to spend that additional time with Julianne even though its just a short hour or so.    Even if she's sleeping, he's happy just looking at her snooze.     

Julianne now weighs in at a healthy 4.35kg.  Thank God all that hard work nursing her didn't go to waste!  She has also grown 2cm measuring 53cm now.  At last week's visit to Dr Yip, she had her 1st boo-boo since we were discharged.  It was her 2nd Hep B shot.  What was I thinking when I wondered if she would be brave enough not to cry ... well clearly she did but a 20sec cry for a 5 week old ain't too bad I suppose. 

Oh and we finally cut those nails of hers yesterday after she scratched herself real bad near her right eye.  Yiyi Sam did a great job while Jules was sleeping.  The first few fingers were a little stressful but we got the hang of it!

I'm typing this entry with her sleeping in my arms cos she refuses to be put down - as usual.  Yes, I've mastered the art of multi-tasking - the things motherhood does to you.  

Letters to Julianne #2

Dearest Julianne, 

You are one month old today!  Just how awesome is that!  I hope you have enjoyed every bite of the past 30 days in this world!  With all the milk, kisses and cuddles you've been getting, what's there not to like right? 

Well, you definitely came and did what we knew you were gonna do - change our lives forever!  In the past month, Mama hasn't slept more than a 2 hours stretch, hasn't watched TV, smell of milk all day, had my breast thumped countless times when you have a meltdown, have been going to bed with my glasses on, hair bun up and sang "Jesus Loves Me" a million times.  But Mama has also been greeted with the sweetest morning smiles, looked into the face of the most contented baby after a feed - as if saying "Thanks Mama, that was yummy"!   

You had your fussy days, like last night when you kept me up from 12mn to 5.30am and this morning when you simply refuse to be put to bed.  It's like you knew you were 1 month old and wanted to have a party and decided it was no fun having a party alone so Mama had to join you too rocking and singing with you all night! You sure thought it was fun didn't you?  Mama didn't find it very fun though and was running out of patience at that party.  It's something I'm still learning so be patient with me ok? 

Your favourite time of the day is clearly between the hours of 6pm and 7pm when everyone comes home and gives you all their attention.  You enjoy the attention and are always on your best behaviour.  Sometimes I think you like to bully Mama cos when everyone leaves for work and its just you and me, the naughty side of Julianne Foo is revealed.  

We've introduced you to pretty much everyone you need to know.  You've received many presents (mostly pretty clothes thankfully) and love gifts in the past month.  You're one blessed child.  We even brought you to see Dr Liang and the nurses when we brought them your man-yue cakes.  Our journey to having you wasn't easy and she knew that so Dr Liang was especially happy for Papa & Mama.  We also threw you a little full month party where Papa and Mama's close colleagues and friends got to see you.  You're get to see more relatives over the Christmas party coming up real soon!     

You're no longer that tiny 3.1kg baby we brought home from hospital.  By your first pediatrician check up with Dr Yip, you had gone back to your birth weight.  We tried weighing you at home and think you're probably in the region of 3.8kg - 4kg now.  We'll know tomorrow when we see Dr Yip again.  On your features, thus far, the verdict has been that you look like Papa.  Oh well, Mama takes after Gong Gong too so looking like Papa can't be a bad thing.  I chose to think you have the best of both of us - top half like Papa (good thing you inherited his long eye lashes), bottom half like Mama - the Koh chin for sure! Whatever it is, you're beautifully and wonderfully created!    

December is going to be even more excited Julianne.  Your cousin Sophie is coming home and that's gonna be the highlight of the month.  Mama can't wait for the both of you to meet and for Yiyi Rene and Uncle Jude to finally see you! We'll be going partying with Christmas here and lots of other baby cousins whom you'll meet.  This Sunday, we're taking you to church to see all the uncles and aunties who have been asking after you.  Aint' you excited?  But they don't sing "Jesus Loves Me" at church so I hope you'll like the other songs they sing.  We'll also be moving into a new room and giving you a new bed soon - you gotta thank Yiyi Sam and Yiyi Rene for giving up their room for us.  Big shot huh you? 

It sometimes seems so surreal that you're finally here and here to stay.  You are so very precious Julianne and in spite of all the meltdowns and difficult moments, Mama wants you to know that I love you with all my heart.

Happy 1st month my sweet sweet Julianne.

Love, 

Mama  

November . . .

What a month it has been ... a month filled with a whole concoction of emotions; excitement, anxiety, joy, pain, worry, frustration and absolute bliss. 

I won't have gotten through the month without the love and support of family who made coping with my new role as mother alot easier.  

There was grandma who took a good part of the month off to take care of me and Julianne.  Making sure I was will nourished and helping me take care of Julianne by rocking her so that I could get some rest.  She thankfully wasn't too strict about all that confinement rules, I got to bath (and wash my hair), by the end of the 2nd week, was happily in my shorts and tees again, managed to steal some sips of cold ribena and orange juice and was thankfully spared of all that longan drink and gingery food when I came down with a sore throat by the end of the 2nd week. 

And grandpa who though can't do much of that rocking and cooking delights Julianne every evening with his conversations with grandpa moments.  She'll listen attentively, as if understanding every word Gong Gong is saying.  It really is quite a delight to watch.  Not forgetting those little kisses he plants on her every now and then, Julianne is so loved. 

Then there is Yiyi Sam who loves to entertain Julianne with her favourite stuff toy - Angel.  In the midst of her A-levels, she took time to give Julianne daily cuddles (under my close supervision no less) and sing her the rubber duckie song during bath time.  The only thing she hasn't done is change Baby J's poopy diaper.  

And giving support and love from afar - my sister Serene and little Sophie - whose advise over What's App and Skype has been most helpful in calming my anxiety and worries.  I've asked her everything from breastfeeding concerns to sleep patterns to poop issues.  Don't know how she went through all this without as much family support as I'm having now - I salute you Chets!  And there was Sophie, who calls out Baby J in her sweetest voice going "Baby Julianne".  Those moments when she wanted to tickle Julianne over Skype was simply adorable.  Can't wait for them to come back in 2 weeks and for the cousins to meet!! 

And how can I forget the Papa who has been such a wonderful source of love and support.  He is my resource person - checking the internet for info each time I have some concern about how Julianne was doing.  He helps us at night despite having to work the next day by helping with at least one of the night feeds and the diaper changes in between so that I can catch some extended rest. He rushes home every evening from work just so that he can spend that precious 1 hour or so with Julianne before she goes to bed.  And did I mention he has been the one bathing her ever since, I've merely been assisting.  They only think that is making him a little sad is that Baby J hasn't quite taken to him carrying her; we're still working on that.    

I feel blessed.  Motherhood has been quite an experience to say the least but by the grace of God and and love of my family, I'm surviving and enjoying the journey.  Praise the Lord!

18 days old

18 Days Old, a photo by pz.sher on Flickr.

Day 18 turned out to be quite a nightmare for me at least for a good 12 hours.  Julianne simply refused to be put to sleep and stayed awake from 9am to 9pm with just what was a short 45 minutes cat nap in between.  It was completely out of sync with her usual routine since we came home so I got really frustrated and worried all at the same time wondering if she was unwell, or if it was something I ate that was keeping her awake.  I've been reading that newborns typically sleep up to 16-18 hours a day so staying awake for 12 hours was simply not the norm! 

Thank God for sisters and mummy-friends who lent good advise and share similar problems with their newborns.  I felt a little more comforted knowing I wasn't alone in this not-sleeping business.  

Other than yesterday's fussiness, Julianne has thankfully actually been a really good girl.  Here's a peek in her typically day .....

745am: Gets a goodbye kiss from Papa before he leaves for work and continues her beauty sleep

9am: Starts stirring up from her slumber.  Slowly opening her eyes.  When she sees me, she greets me with the biggest smile.  Its the best thing to wake up to.  She only started smiling like this a few days ago and she does that just hearing my voice and hearing me call out "Good morning Sunshine"! 

930am: She gets her morning wash-up; cleaning her eyes, face and a diaper change before changing out of her PJs into her comfy home-wear including long oversized pants which grandma insists she wears. 

930am - 11am: I give her some awake time, playing in grandma's room, talking with her.  She's most alert at this time of the day! She'll give you her most attentive stare with her eyes wide open.  She'll coo as you speak to her as though wanting to give you a response. 

11am: I usually give her a feed to try to nurse her to bed.  This though is typically her fussiest time when nursing doesn't get her to sleep.  She'll doze off while drinking and when I put her down on the bed, she'll get up again.  This is the time I start my solo karaoke session and you'll start hearing "Hush Little Baby" and "Jesus Loves the Little Children" on repeat play for the next hour or so. 

12noon: On a good day, she'll be asleep.  On a bad one, we continue the singing cum rocking session.  I break for lunch while our helper watches over her. 

2pm: I give her another feed and here's when she *really* goes down for a good afternoon siesta.  She will sleep till about 5ish/6pm waking for a feed in between.

630pm: By this time, she's usually pretty awake lying on her skip-hop farmyard gym mat and waiting for her Papa to come home.  She'll be on her best behaviour never greeting her Papa with her cries which she occasionally showers on her me during the day.  This is also the time when everyone's including Gong Gong and Yiyi Sam are home so everyone gets to play with her. 

715pm: We thankfully still manage to sit down as a family for a proper dinner while our helper; Joy; watches her.  Joy has been pretty good with her so hopefully things won't be too difficult when I return to work next year. 

8pm: We get ready to bath her which in her early days use to be this huge Operation involving the grandparents and you-tube playing elmo & the rubber duckie song.  But she's came to really enjoy her bathe these days and we've also gotten the hang of things so now its left to Papa and Mama.  It's easily her other favourite time of the day apart from feeding and poo-ing time.  She's dressed in her comfy PJs all nice smelling of California Baby shampoo. 

<>

815pm: We bring her to Por Por's room for a little time with the grandparents before she says her goodnight to them and Yiyi Sam (which until now has been more of "Good luck for tomorrow's paper"). I nurse her, once she's done, we pack her into her swaddle and lullaby her to bed.  

9pm: Once in deep sleep and we place her into her crib. She takes what is typically her longest sleep, sometimes 4hours, going past her 3-hour feed interval.  

9pm-745am:  She wakes up for about 3 feeds on average, falling right back to bed after each.  We usually give her a bottle of my expressed milk for her first feed after her 9pm one so that Papa too can experience the bond when feeding her.  It also gives me the time to go pump so that I don't go to bed (or 3 hours naps I call them) feeling all engorged. 

And there readers is the life of 19 day old Julianne Foo.  

     

From Yiyi Sam . . .

Julianne was already 3 days old when I finally got to read this post from my sister Samantha and it was just the sweetest thing.  

I'm re-blogging it here in case my sister decides to close her blog one day (which she has a tendency to) and I never read this again. 

***

It’s going to be a very special night for these 2 very special humans (:

(FIRST OF ALL, can i just say that I am kinda disappointed that we didn’t get the whole wake-up-at-3am-emergency-waterbag-burst drama. was really looking forward to that.)

Anyhoo, Sherri Koh is gonna get induced tomorrow morning and we just gave her a send off to the hospital (:

Honestly, as much as people know me for my excitement to be a mother and my innate love for little kiddos, my sisters’ pregnancy has taught me that childbirth and motherhood are rather huge tasks to rise up to. When my oldest sister was pregnant, she was pregnant 200000 miles from home, and i guess that distanced me from the reality of it all. But over the past 9 months with Sherri pregnant, i really got to see the process up close and experience each milestone with her right next to me. Initially i thought it would just be her getting physically bigger..but it’s really not. Over the past 9 months, my sister grew up. I could see that while she expanded her waistline, she was also expanding her heart..to make room to love another human being with more love than she would possibly ever experience. Each day i saw her falling in love with that baby bump that quickly evolved into a baby mountain. She would talk to it, rub it, sing to it..it’s like they went out on dates everyday for the past 9 months and finally tomorrow they’d meet each other face to face. For my sis, that bump would become a child. And for Julianne, that voice would become a mother.

There is something beautiful about witnessing the process of pregnancy. A beauty that I, with my limited ability to express my thoughts, can never ever describe.

Erer, by the time you read this, you’d probably already have Juju in your arms. But i just wanna say that you’re gonna be a wonderful mother, just as you are and always will be a wonderful sister. I love you! And Piao, please don’t faint in the delivery ward. You’re gonna be a super Dad too (: 

And i leave you 2 with this! In commemoration of your last night as being just the 2 of you, and waking up tomorrow with just hours away to being the 3 of you:

“With child: there’s a lovely warm sound to that expression, an archaic but tender acknowledgement that for nine months you have company wherever you go.”

-Lionel Shriver

I believe it was a lovely adventure. But now it’s time for another one. One that is greater, grander, and more permanent (:

Letters to Julianne #1

Beautiful Julianne, a photo by pz.sher on Flickr.

Dearest Julianne,

We waited 40 weeks and 1 day for your grand arrival.  On the appointed day, you still insisted on taking your own sweet time, believing that since its *your* birthday then only you had the right to choose the exact hour of your birth.  You must like the number '3' very much.  Yes, that's like us - our little family of 3.  

Over the past 40 weeks, Mama lived each day by faith that God will protect you, keep you healthy and bring you safely into this world.  Having gone through a previous lost, Mama sometimes lived my days in fear and anxiety even right to the very hour of your birth.  As I cradled you in my arms, I can only chide myself for having little faith sometimes.  Indeed our God is faithful.  During Mama and Papa's honeymoon 2 years ago, God spoke to me and promised me a 2011 baby.  And here you are, just as God had promised. 

"We prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted what we asked for" - 1 Samuel 1:27   

You came, turned my night into day and my day into night. I've learnt to put aside my obsession with routine and schedules and allowed you to take over as my official planner - my life now revolves around your cues and cries. For the first time in 32 years, I didn't bother having candles on my birthday cake, I was just thankful you made it home with us on that day - it was the best present I could ever ask for.  Papa and Mama spent our 3rd Wedding Anniversary without any fanfare, just us and you Julianne and that was all that mattered. 

I want you to know how very precious you are to me and Papa.  You have been beautifully and wonderfully created in the image of God and God has done such a great job with you.  Know my child that you are so loved.  Loved by everyone in the family, loved by us, loved by God. 

Welcome to our world dear Julianne.  Mama promise to do all I can and more to make this place a safe and happy one for you! 

Love you so much, 

Mama

Pain Redefined

The previous post was the happy part of the labour process.  After Dr Chan stitched me up, I was all ready to retreat back into the room, just us, our little family of three.  After some skin to skin time with Julianne, the nurses brought her back to the nursery for a complete routine check.  I was told my parents and sister were waiting excitedly outside - it was comforting to know that as I was tirelessly pushing, family was cheering me on from outside. 

I stayed on in the delivery suite for observation as I was running a mild temperature. Dr Chan takes his leave and we thanked him for all the assistance.  Told him to also bring Dr Liang the good news of Julianne's arrival. 

11.15pm: Before sending me back to the ward, the nurses attempted to drain my bladder only to find that my uterus wasn't contracting as it should.  Nurse Yang examines me and tells me she needed to check me further and it may cause some discomfort. 

11.30pm: 1st Pain: She performs what has got to be the most excruciating pain ever experience in my life.  I'm dead serious.  By this time, my happidural wasn't so happy anymore as it had started to wear off.  So when the nurse examines me with her bare hands, I really screamed murder! She tells us that I had blood clots in my uterus which explains why it wasn't contracting and that they had to ensure that the clots were removed before sending me back to the ward.   

12mn:  2nd Pain - she returns to perform yet another check.  I really hated it.  She suggested I used the laughing gas to distraught me from the pain so we did.  There she went again, 2nd examination.  The laughing gas was rubbish and did nothing to help.  I screamed like I never did before and was really to rip dearie's arm off.  There were still clots and I could sense some serious concern in Nurse Yang's voice and she explained what was happening.  My BP was also starting to drop. In my state of pain and bluriness, I heard them saying "Call Dr Chan" and that got me really worried.  In the meantime, she left us, asking dearie to massage my tummy to help rid the clots.  The nurse from the nursery also ask for permission to give Julianne some formula since I was not in the right state of breastfeed.  As much as I had wanted to exclusively breastfeed her, it was what was best for her at that point.

2nd November

12.15am:  3rd Pain - Every time I see her back in the room, my heart will tremble.  When she says she is going to check me, trust me, I gave her poor puppy looking face and literally beg her not to.  No prizes for guessing who wins.  So there we go again, with that useless laughing gas. 

12.30am: At this point, I thought I was in some severe condition.  Dr Chan returns and repeats that horrendous act of clearing my clots with his bare hands just like what Nurse Yang had done but longer and 10 folds more painful.  My scream could bring the hospital down but I couldn't care less.  I probably also scratched the nurse and the husband who was holding onto me.  After what was like an eternity of pain, Dr Chan explained what was happening but I wasn't in the right state of mind to understand anything. 

1am: Dr Chan leaves and I continue to be kept behind for observation. Dearie was instructed to massage me to help the uterus contract.    

1am - 3am: I think I went through two more rounds of checks being told each time things looked better and hoping that that meant no more checks.  

4am:  Finally at 4am, after being in the delivery suite for some 22 hours, thirsty, hungry, in pain and running a temperature, Nurse Yang does one last check and allows me to return to the ward.  I was just glad my ordeal was over.  I apologised to Nurse Yang and thank her for putting up with my screams and struggles over the last few hours.  I felt bad cos I know my struggling didn't make her job easier but the pain was truly beyond unbearable and I have *never* in my life felt gone through anything close to this.  

The post delivery trauma rated 100 on a pain score of 10 and made the actual labour seem like an absolute painless experience.  

I now have new found respect for nurses who had to put up with all my crap, clean me up and make sure I was in the right condition to be discharged from the labour ward.  And thank God for our gynae who returned to check on my condition or I would have probably bled to death. 

Looking at Julianne the next day more than made up for what I had gone through.  How truly precious was our daughter and I couldn't be more thankful to God placing her safely in my arms.    

Julianne

Julianne Foo

Born 01.11.11

Weighing 3.33kg and 51cm long

After some 15 hours of labour, our precious Julianne finally decided that 21:33hr was her appointed time to finally say "Hello world"!

31st Oct 2011

9pm: Settled into our room at Gleneagles all excited at the prospect of meeting our precious one soon

9.30pm: Sister Koh comes in and gives me my pitocin which is suppose to help soften the cervix get the dilation going.  I was that my water bag may burst and I may still go into labour that night.  She straps me to the machine to monitor my contractions and Julianne's heart rate for the next hour.

10.30pm: Machine off.  Dearie and I even sneaked in an episode of the DVD drame we brought with us. 

12mn: Off to bed with some mild contractions believing that maybe, just maybe Julianne will give me all that night-labour drama. 

1st Nov 2011

5am: No drama last night.  I'm awaken by Nurse So who administered enema to help me clear my bowels

5:40am: Was served some toast and milo.  I only managed 1 slice of bread no knowing this was the last meal I was going to have till 23 hours later.

6am: We make our way to the delivery suite, spirits all high! Dearie armed with his camera and ipad all ready to document Julianne's birth!

7.45am: Dr Tay our anesthetist comes in to give me God's best gift to mothers in labour - the epidural or what Dr Chan calls the happidural! He did such a wonderful job, pain score was really 0.  He was chatting with me all the time, taught me some breathing exercise and it helped to take whatever pain there was suppose to be away.  He even said I had zero fat in my back when he administered the epidural and how I must have been spared of Dr Chan's nagging on weight issues.

8.30am: Dr Chan arrives, breaks my waterbag painlessly, checks my dilation only to inform as that it was barely 2cm.  "8 more hours to go" was all I heard after that.  I thought he was joking really.  But no, he was dead serious. "Your cervix isn't cooperating, still very tight".  I got a little discouraged but he didn't seem too concern, I guess he has seen many of such cases so he just told us to rest and wait.       

11.30am: The nurse does a check on how far we have progressed and I was told, barely 2.5cm.  Wasn't it suppose to be 1cm every hour?  We should have been around 5cm by this time! I started to get worried that at this rate, Julianne may go into distress or that I may end up with an emergency c-section.  

1:45pm: Dr Chan returns to check on me.  *Still* at 2cm!  But we were told the cervix had soften significantly and hopefully things will start moving faster from here.  He instructs the nurses to increase my oxytocin doses to move the contractions along.  

2pm: I start to feel I was running a fever.  But this time, 8 hours since we arrived in the delivery suite, I was losing all excitement and steam.  Dearie was a champion, reading the news to me, feeding me small little sips of water which was all that I was allowed in case we had to go for c-section.  

2.30pm: Rev Joel messages me to check on things and I update him that it seemed we still had some way to go.  I asked him to pray for us.  Moments later, he called and we prayed over the phone.  We claimed God's ways to move the labour along and that I will not fear for He was in absolute control. 

3pm: Dearie and I start some breathing exercises to help manage the contractions that seem to get stronger.  We kept praying, commanding my cervix to open up in the name of Jesus.  

5.30pm: 11 hours later. The nurses check on me again.  5cm with very very thinned out cervix!! Plus I started to have some "show".  Praise God! We continued with the breathing and praying!  I was very drained out by this time.  My face was all flushed, I was tired, in mild pain and worried all at the same time. 

7pm: Our every helpful nurses return for another check.  7.5cm I was told! Almost 8cm.  She helped me stretched my cervix as the contractions came on.  Just needed to get it to 8cm and we would most likely avoid a c-section.  So the nurses helped me along and proceeded to update Dr Chan who was still in his clinic on my status. 

7.45pm: Dr Chan arrives and measures me! "Just fully dilated" was all I needed to hear!! God is good!!  But Julianne's head was still pretty high so we continued the wait.  The contractions were getting stronger. The nurses stood by me, encouraging me to breathe and to push at the right time.  

8:30pm: I was told to start pushing each time I felt a contraction.  They lowered my epidural dosage so that I could feel some degree of pain which was helpful in the whole pushing business.  I did as told with my husband by my side encouraging me along.  

9pm: I was close to giving up.  The feeling was like heavily constipated 100 folds over. I was screaming "Get her out, I can't do this anymore"!! Julianne's head was huge and it seem that I wasn't making very good progress with the pushing although the nurses and dearie kept cheered me along, telling me I was doing good.  

9:15pm: Dr Chan arrives and suggest that we go with an assisted delivery using the forceps.  At that point, I was just exhausted and worried that she would go into distress so whatever, just get her out! He even bothered explained that the forceps was centuries old instrument and made sure we were clear about some side effects it would have - marks on the face which will clear up within days.  I really didn't care and I knew there was no harm in using them so I just nodded and nodded hoping he would just get on with it. 

9:30pm: I was asked to push as Dr Chan worked his magic and as the nurses assisted him. 

9:33pm: Julianne Foo arrives into our world, placed on my bosom.  As her eyes met mine, I found myself falling in love all over again.  This time, with God's beautiful creation.  Every minute of the last 15 hours was so worth the pain. 

Beautiful Nine Months

Beautiful Nine Months, a photo by pz.sher on Flickr.

Dearest Baby J,

In a few hours, the nurses at Gleneagles will be sending you an invitation, an invite to the world.  Hopefully by afternoon tomorrow, (depending on how cooperative you are), we will see you for the first time.  After 40 full weeks of going where Mama went and eating what Mama ate, you are finally going to have a life you can call your very own.

I am going to miss having you in utero.  Your mischievous kicks and tiny hiccups are definitely something I’m going to miss.  They were our special moments and no one shared in those moments as much as I did.  I will recall how Mama was constantly obsessed with whether you were active enough (you averaged 10 kicks in 15 minutes) and how I got worried just the same when you started going crazy with your kicks (hitting 10 kicks in under 5 minutes) making me think you were in distress!

Mama and Papa found out about you on the morning of 17^th February this year.  It was the last day of the Lunar New Year.  We didn’t tell anyone and Mama still happily went to work in my 4” heels.  It was a very pleasant surprise, Mama remember going through the day in a little disbelieve.  Our God is good.  Your Yiyi Rene was the first to find out about you!  Three days later, Mama did a test again just to be really sure you were there and this time, the reality sank in a little deeper.  We happily shared the news with your Por Por, Gong Gong and Yiyi Sam.

Over the past nine months, you have been well looked after by everyone in the family.  The nourishing meals Por Por prepares for you, not forgetting all the bird’s nest.  The many pretty clothes that Yiyi Rene sent home and how Yiyi Sam always entertains you after dinner.  And there’s Gong Gong who’s most interested in making sure your bassinet and car seat were properly set up. And of course the hero Papa who has been your biggest fan! We hope you have enjoyed your nine months stay in Mama’s tummy.  It’s now time to say “hello world”!

We have been praying for you unceasingly everyday.  You are such a precious gift from God and He has been so faithful in answering all our prayers, taking away all our fears and anxieties.  You have brought me closer to God.  You have brought your Papa closer to God.  At this age and God is already making use of you to do great things for Him.  It is Mama’s prayer that we will bring you up in a manner that will honour and be pleasing to Him so that you may go on to do great things for Him.  

We love you very much Baby J and we cannot wait to see you so very soon! Our lives are about to change forever and we are so glad you are the reason for it.

Love you much,

Mama 

Fashionably Late

She has been a pretty punctual kiddo thus far.  During the first trimester, her alarm clock was set at 6pm - the time Mama would start feeling nauseated.  At 13 weeks, the 1st trimester queasiness went away just like what the books said.  Punctual yet again.  But somehow, between week 14 and 40, our daughter forgot all about being punctual and have chosen instead to be a fashionably late baby.  

And so, with no sign of her yet at full term, Dr C has decided today that we need to issue Baby J an invitation instead.  Prima donna this one.  So if nothing happens between now and Monday, we'll be admitted on Monday evening to be induced.  So by Tuesday, 1.11.11, the stork will have landed.    

At today's examination, I was told I'm barely dilated.  I'm feeling a little anxious that this may mean I'm in for a long labour.  Please pray with us that we will have a safe and smooth delivery and that the induction will be a success. 

Apple Cheeks

Baby J @ 39 weeks, a photo by pz.sher on Flickr.

We're at 39 weeks and clearly our daughter is still all comfy in there and not quite willing to come out just yet.  At today's gynae visit, we were told soon, next week likely so Baby J, please be good and come out soon.  You're already 3.2kg.  Get too big and Mama is going to have trouble getting you out.  

We got some really nice shots of her today and I think baby J looks alot like her cousin Sophie!  Dr C likes to make fun of her chubby cheeks.  He called them apple cheeks today.  I never thought my pre-pregnancy considerably small frame could carry a 3.2kg heavy baby with such chubbiness really.  

Its just a waiting game now.  I go to sleep every night wondering if this will be THE night ... everyone in the family is making a guess on when she'll arrive.  Dad and Sam have their bets on this weekend, the hubs think mid next week - which makes it my sister's birthday, while I have a nagging feeling she may go pass her expected due date.  Oh well, its anybody's guess.  

Stay tune! 

Nesting

Just in time for tea, a photo by pz.sher on Flickr.

I've officially started my leave.  No work till 1st March 2012!!! Woohoo!!!  Before Baby J arrives, this really is the best time to just have some "me-time".  Chill, laze and relax.  I'm trying really hard to be still - not quite something I'm accustomed to.  I did pretty well yesterday - watched Food Network, worked on my sewing and pretty much kept still at the couch all day in the cool rainy weather.  

But my stillness lasted only a day.  I just had to find something to do today.  So other than whipping up lunch, I decided Baby J and I could do with some baking fun!  So just in time for tea, we put together some bananas, illy ground espresso, choc chip and the usual flour, butter, sugar and eggs and 25 minutes later *ta-da*- banana espresso choc chip muffin!!  We just munched it down - moist and delicious to every bite!!!          

When Baby J is old enough, I think she's gonna enjoy baking adventures with Mama!!  Can't wait!!